


Tagalongs

by DirgeOfCerberus111



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Steven universe au - Fandom
Genre: All the Homeworld Gems are employees, Fluff and Humor, Now Yellow has to babysit them until someone can pick them up, Office Building AU, Steven Universe AU, Steven and Connie are in elementary school, Steven and Connie are two lost kids who bump into Yellow, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Yellow is a cranky CEO, pure fluff, su au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-03-01 07:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13290237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirgeOfCerberus111/pseuds/DirgeOfCerberus111
Summary: So this is a fic I made for @DirectorHachi back in July. In it, Steven and Connie are two lost elementary school kids who get lost during a field trip and bump into Ms. Yellow Diamond, the grumpy CEO of a corporation.





	1. Chapter 1

“Connie, are we sure we’re going the right way?”

Steven and Connie were walking through the downtown high-rise district of Empire City. They plodded along through puddles their shoes and rainboots making little splashes as they passed.

“Well we’re going where the map says to go,” Connie replied. “We went past the supermarket, then we take a left at the bank with the big money-sign on the roof, and it should be a straight shot to the museum.” she said tracing along the path with her finger.

“Yeah, but I don’t recognize any of these buildings. Like this big tall one here!” Steven pointed out, gesturing to the tall skyscraper whose shadow they were currently walking under. The tower stuck out from the rest of Empire City. It was a huge shard of glass and steel, pointed and angular, instead of the usual blocky and squarish concrete buildings, with featureless windows that you couldn’t see into. They had checked.

“It’s nowhere even on the map!”

“I’m starting to think that whoever made this may have taken some artistic liberti-OOF!” Connie’s words were cut off as the two bumped into someone and both fell back. Steven and Connie looked up to see who it was they had bumped into.

She was very tall, with sharp features and sunburst blonde hair fashioned into a pointed hairstyle, and wore a matching colored tie for her double-breasted business suit which sported peaked shoulders. The lady had a cell phone to her ear as she looked down at them with a scowl.

“We’re sorry!”, “We didn’t see you there!” they both said getting up and apologizing to the six-foot-tall lady who had been standing stationary in the middle of the sidewalk corner.

“I’ll call you back, Pearl.” the lady said into her phone before shutting it. She turned her eyes back towards them.

“Children should watch where they are _going_ ,” she scolded them as she pocketed the device. The lady scrutinized the two kids who had so rudely barged into her. They didn’t look a day old enough to be out of elementary school. One of them, the girl, was wearing red rain boots and glasses, and the boy wore a pink t-shirt with a star and had a backpack on their— wait was that supposed to be a cheeseburger he’s wearing?

“We’re sorry about that, Miss…?” Steven’s voice trailed off as he realized he didn’t know who he had bumped into.

“Yellow,” she replied curtly before something dawned on them and her eyes narrowed. “Shouldn’t you two be at school or something?”

“We were on a field trip around the city! But we…got separated from our group,” the boy confessed sheepishly. “We were trying to follow the map to meet them at the museum.”

“Let me see that,” she bid. Connie handed her the map they had been using and Ms. Yellow examined it.

“Kids…this is the back of a cereal box.”

“Yeah, we had to improvise so we used a box of Cookie Kittens that Steven brought for snacks,” Connie replied to which Steven nodded in fervent agreement.

“So can you help us out? _Pleeeeeeeeease?_ ” he pleaded clasping his hands together with big starry eyes.

Yellow looked up from the cartoonish excuse for a “map”, the expression on her face completely deadpan. The bank they had circled with what she assumed was crayon was actually on the complete other side of the city, and the museum they were looking for would be a several hours walk from here.

She looked around, trying to locate any parents or some other authorities who could deal with this instead of her, but no such luck. Yellow Diamond thought about her predicament. Of course, the right thing to do would be to call the proper authorities and have them pick these kids up. However…that would mean she would have to wait for who-knows how long until they do, and she was on an extremely tight schedule. She had so much to do as it is, all the meetings today, all of them back-to-back, including the big merger-

No, no, she does not have time for this, she decided. She handed the kids back their piece of cardboard and without another word began to walk up the stairs to the office tower.

After taking a few paces up the steps she hesitated and looked back.

The two hadn’t moved from where they were standing, still scrutinizing their “map” which they held together and were studying with intense focus. Yellow knew it would do them no good, and would only serve to get them further lost at this point.

The path they were heading would take them deeper downtown. Through heavy traffic and busy roads. Very busy roads. Where it would be easy for one unsuspecting driver to slip up and not notice two dumb kids walking through the middle of the street.

“Just keep walking, Yellow. It’s none of your concern,” she told herself, trying to push the thought out of her mind. She forced herself to turn away and continue up.

After a few steps, her pace slowed down and came to a halt, stopping just at the top of the stairs.

Then again…could she just leave two kids lost in the middle of a city?

Yellow Diamond let out a long sigh. She turned around and marched back towards the two kids. It couldn’t be helped, she decided. Better to avoid the possible lawsuit and be done with this. That would be the safest thing to do.

Steven and Connie looked up from their map as a shadow fell over them and saw Ms. Yellow bearing down on them.

“Alright you two, listen up! I’m only going to say this once,” Yellow began sternly, placing her hands on her hips. “You follow me until I can call the police,” she orated. “Until then, keep up, don’t fall behind, do not draw any attention to yourself, do not speak unless spoken to, do not cause a racket, and most important of all…!” She leaned in and stressed quite heavily.

“…Do not. _Touch_. **Anything**! Are we clear?”

They nodded tactfully.

“Good, come along now.” She turned around and walked up the steps and through the double glass doors of the building, the two kids running up behind her to keep up with the tall lady’s brisk pace.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is finally out! Hope you all enjoy! Thank you all for the support, I look forward to making more!

Yellow Diamond stepped briskly through the lobby with Steven and Connie close behind.

The two took a moment to marvel at the luxury that surrounded them. The interior was designed in postmodernist fashion with smooth stone floors and walls, glass rails, golden glowing lamps hanging above them, and office spaces jutting out above them overlooking the lobby. Inside them, people were discussing their matters of business and holding meetings.

Various people clad in suits and various colored ties walked around the lobby, each moving purposefully along their own direct paths to their own individual affairs to attend to.

They strolled all the way to the other side without stopping, going through the lobby, past the help desks, and straight into the awaiting elevators. Steven and Connie turned around and were immediately taken in by the sight of the city as they ascended upwards. Their faces were pressed against the elevator’s glass as they looked outside in sheer awe and wonder. They were so high up now, they could see the street below where the people seemed no bigger than tiny ants.

“I wonder if we can see the museum from here?” Steven wondered aloud.

“No, it’s too far away,” Yellow replied dismissively.

“Is this whole place yours?” Connie questioned the imposing lady.

“Yes,” Yellow Diamond’s mind dimly registered that she had not told either of them that she owns this building and that the elementary school girl managed to deduce this. She allowed this momentary breach in silence since no one was around. “Home Convenience Worldwide deals with all manner of household and personal day-to-day based needs and services. Appliances, electronics, construction, real estate, development, you name it we got it. We own 16% of the property in this city and have products in 45% of the outlets in it,” Yellow iterated with a small hint of pride. “Also the previous owner couldn’t take the hint,” she added sideways.

The elevator dinged and parted open.

“Remember, no speaking unless permitted,” she sternly reminded them before stepping outside. Steven and Connie were met by the sight of a sprawling expanse of office spaces and cubicles. Their ears were greeted by the clamor of telephones ringing, papers being printed, stapling, and the rattling of keyboards.

Yellow glanced at her wristwatch. She really didn’t have time for this. There was still some time before the first meeting, but she had plenty of memos to read and emails to reply before then. After that, she needed read at least a dozen status updates and quarterly reports. And then finally she had to prepare for the big merger that was today. She needed to get rid of these kids soon. But she couldn’t just hand them to any employee. How would that look?

As she walked through, secretaries, office workers, and other employees snapped to attention and nervously greeted the CEO as she passed them without a word. But in her wake, their heads all turned to follow the two small kids following closely behind her like two lost ducklings. They had gotten to the other side to the opaque entrance of Yellow Diamond’s office and she was about to open it when they heard a shrill, nasally voice call out.

“Oh, Ms. Diamond! Ms. Diamond, there you are!” A pointy-nosed blonde-haired secretary hurried past several cubicles waving and tightly holding several folders to her chest. After several drawn-out seconds of flustered hurrying, she finally reached her boss. Resting her hands on her knees and panting she breathlessly greeted her.

“Oh good.” Yellow Diamond began. Finally someone she can pass this off to. “Pearl, there’s something I need you to—”

“I’m sorry, but the representatives are here!” Pearl blurted out still catching her breath.

“ _What_?”

“They arrived early! I tried to stall them but they’re expecting you. You can still make it but we to go now!”

“Tell them I’ll be there.” Calling the police would have to wait. She needed to deal with this _now_.

She veered from the door and immediately marched to the wall of elevators that mirrored the other side of the floor. She couldn’t afford to be tardy. Not in her own building! That was probably the intention, a tactic to embarrass her on her own turf. But then Yellow remembered the extra baggage she was dragging. She turned and saw the two kids were still following closely behind her. The children had stayed quiet like she had asked, but they were still drawing attention. What was she going to do with them? She can’t take them with her to a meeting!

“Excellent, Ms. Diamond! I have your presentations right here for your...for your...” Her words trailed off as she noticed the pair of children standing with Ms. Diamond. “What are… _they_ doing here?” she pointed.

Oh good, a volunteer.

“On second thought,” Yellow stepped behind Steven and Connie and pushed them towards the confused secretary. “Look after these two, I’ll handle this.” The hapless aid began sputtering in protest and confusion.

The CEO plucked the folders from the secretary’s hands with a quick “Thank you very much.”

“But-but but I- !” But Yellow Diamond was already escaping into an awaiting elevator.

“Watch them and keep them out of trouble. I’ll be right back.” Before the secretary could finish protesting the elevators doors shut in her face, leaving the three of them standing where they were.

“But what am I supposed to do with them?!” she squawked at the closed doors.

Steven and Connie turned to look at Ms. Pearl.

Like everyone else in the building, she was clad in a sharp suit, immaculately pressed and fitted to a tee. She was thin with a very lean build and her hair was gelled upwards, slightly mimicking her boss.

The young employee took a deep breath, inhaling from the nose and taking a moment to gather herself, then finally turned and addressed them.

“Ahem!” she cleared her throat. “Alright then! Ms. Yellow Diamond has tasked me with keeping an eye on you two. So don’t you even think about getting up to any tomfoolery in this tower!”

The kids nodded in unison.

"This is a professional organization,” she emphasized. “An elite enterprise with zero tolerance for silly children’s antics. Such things would reflect poorly upon us in the eyes of our customers and infer weakness to our competitors."

The kids nodded again.

“You will obey company policy regarding all manner of conduct and standards of behavior.” This time she waited for a response from them but didn’t get one.

Once more they nod.

“And...um...there will be no complaints! You will adhere to standards until you can be dealt with!” Ms. Pearl was reaching now, more off-put than anything by their lack of response.

Again, only nods, no words.

“ _Well_?” Ms. Pearl demanded, tapping her foot irritably. “Why don’t you say something!”

This time the kids shook their heads. The girl pointing at their lips as if to indicate something. When the secretary made a puzzled expression, she pressed an index finger to her lips as if to shush someone, but it wasn’t directed at Ms. Pearl. It finally dawned on Ms. Pearl what they meant.

“...Ms. Diamond told you not to speak unless permitted, didn’t she?”

They nodded.

“ _Oh my god these freaking kids_.” she thought inwardly and pinched the bridge of her pointy nose. It was something Ms. Diamond said often when someone was talking out of line or simply bothering her. She had seen it enough times to know that it was Ms. Diamond's way of professionally telling one to shut up. But these kids had taken it literally.

She let out of long exasperated sigh. “You may speak!”

“Hello! My name is Steven!” the boy greeted not waiting a second.

“And I’m Connie!” the girl followed suit.

“What’s your name?” Steven asked.

“ _Pearl_ ,” the secretary answered bluntly.

“Oh wow, I know someone also named Pearl!”

“Small world,” she mumbled uninterested.

“It’s nice to meet you!” the girl added.

She only grumbled in irritation. Then she wondered _why_ they were here to begin with.

“What are you two doing here anyway?” she questioned them.

“We were on a field trip. But then we got lost. We asked Ms. Yellow for directions and she told us to follow her until someone can come get us.”

“ _Ms. Diamond_ ,” she corrected her again irritated. But that made the secretary think.

Should she call someone? Would that be saving Ms. Diamond some time? She thought about it. No, she decided. Ms. Diamond had only told her to wait and keep on eye on them. So clearly she planned on handling this herself. To call now herself would be to undermine Ms. Diamond’s authority and derail whatever her intentions were. Best to avoid the hassle and simply do as she asked.

“Right then!” No pointing standing in front of these elevators until she gets back. “Come along then, let’s figure out what to do with you two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely to be continued!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Well, this took me a while. It kept getting so long I had to cut it up into three individual chapters! Thank you so much for all the comments! I've wanted to put this out for weeks but just got done with the school term and all.

Ms. Pearl led them around the floor like a tour of the place. As they went, she rattled off the various departments. By the way she delivered this information, it sounded like she had given this same speech a hundred times before.

“Ms. Pearl, what’s that?” Connie pointed.

“That’s a printer. Don’t touch that.”

“What’s that?” Steven pointed.

“That’s a coffee machine. Don’t touch that either.”

“And what’s that?” Connie pointed again.

“That...actually I have no idea. It’s just always sort of been there.”

“So can we touch it?” Steven asked.

“No.”

They continued on until Connie finally spoke up.

“So what do you do here?” Connie asked. “Are you a secretary?”

“I am Ms. Diamond’s _personal_ assistant!“ she proclaimed proudly, suddenly now having a fair bit of spring to her step. “I organize all of her schedules, handle her phone calls, prepare her presentations, delegate her instructions to the other staff, act as her chauffeur, and fulfill many other tasks!”

“Wow, you sure do work a lot. Do you ever take breaks?” Steven asked sounding concerned.

“I do not need _breaks_ , I am a tireless and efficient working machine. Wherever Ms. Diamond needs me, I am ready and able!” the secretary refuted.

“My mom’s like that, she’s a doctor so she always has to be at work,” Connie remarked.

“Your mother sounds like a very career-driven woman,” Ms. Pearl replied, almost complimentary.

“Yeah, but she’s always working instead of at home, and when she comes back she’s always too tired to do anything else. Then she just goes back again later,” Connie sighed somewhat glumly.

After a awkward moment of silence, Ms. Pearl cleared her throat and added, almost hesitantly. “Well, I suppose I could use a…brief recess, every now and again.” Maybe they’re right. Perhaps allowing herself some time off once in a while couldn't hurt.

“Recesses are fun!” Steven chimed. “That’s when me and Connie pretend were in _The Unfamiliar Familiar_ and we help Lisa stop the One-Eye Man!”

“Not what I meant exactly, but sure.”

“Maybe you could trying reading something? That usually helps me relax,” Connie suggested.

“Hmmm. You know, I might do that.” At first their constant pestering had been annoying, being regulated to babysitting when she was supposed to be with Ms. Diamond right now, aiding her meeting with the bigwigs. But now, it felt sort of nice to have someone actually take an interest in her work. There wasn’t much in the way of real conversation around here. Just long periods of responding to callers, greeting visitors, acquiescing to requests, or demands, and carrying out instructions. Listening and obeying, broken up only by some occasional passive-aggressive revenge. It was nice for someone to take such concern for her wellbeing. Might as well entertain them until Ms. Diamond gets back.

“Now then, in order to pass the time until Ms. Diamond returns, why don’t we do something exciting?”

The kids were excited now. “Like what?” They asked.

“How about I show you two how to properly organize filing cabinets? Or we could prepare the presentation portfolios for next week. Ooh! Maybe we could even iron and press all of Ms. Diamond’s spare suits! Doesn’t that sound fun?” she offered excitedly.

The two stared back at her blankly.

“Do you have a TV?” Connie asked.

It occurred to Ms. Pearl now that she may not be the foremost expert on entertaining children. She looked around for someone to help her. Someone more...comprehending of juvenile behavior. Finally, she spotted some individuals she thought just might be exactly what she was looking for.

“Ah, perfect!” she exclaimed. Steven and Connie peeked out from behind her to see what she was looking at.

Several very tall ladies were surrounding the copy machine, muttering and griping indistinguishably to each other. Each one was huge, well built, and clearly muscle-bound beneath their suits. Around their necks each was also wearing a bright blue tie as opposed to the yellow ties Ms. Pearl and many of the other office workers here were wearing.

She stepped over to them and cleared her throat to announce her presence. “Ahem,” None of them seemed to notice and continued griping amongst themselves. She cleared her throat again much more loudly this time. “I said, **_AHEM_**!” Now they all turned their heads to face her.

“Well, well, well! Look who it is! Looks like her royal majesty has decided to grace us with her presence!” a chipped-tooth worker spoke up gruffly.

“What’s the matter? Ran out of callers to hang up on?” another one snarked.

“Don’t you have some suits to iron or something?” That got a round of chuckles from the others.

“Yes, yes, very amusing. Now then, if you don’t mind, I require your assistance. Ms. Diamond has instructed me to take care of her two young guests until- ”

“Woah oh! I didn't know Ms. Yellow had _kids_!” The one with rather sharp teeth crouched down and grinned widely at them.

“She does NOT!” Ms. Pearl shrieked and they laughed heartily some more.

“Cool it, lemonhead.” Another person appeared behind Ms. Pearl and leaned on a cubicle. She was even taller than the others, but was very thin in comparison. She had a very cool air about her and a calm, relaxed smile on her face. “Or you’ll set off the sprinklers again.”

“ _Hmph_!” the secretary huffed.

“Hey, Skinny!” someone in the group greeted her with a upraised arm.

“Sup, guys,” Skinny replied with a slight raise of her own arm.

“Yo, where’s Caren at?” another asked.

“Still getting the toner.”

“So who are the little tots anyway?” the softer looking lady with the curl in her hair and thicker eyebrows asked.

“That’s none of your concern, Jaylene,” Ms. Pearl brushed her question aside.

“It’s just Jay,” she corrected but was ignored.

“All you need to know is that I have explicit instructions from Ms. Diamond herself to watch over these two until she gets back, all I require from you is your assistance in keeping them occupied until then,” she dictated at them.

“Why? Because you finally realized you have no clue what fun is?” Skinny smirked.

“W-W-Why that’s absurd!” Ms. Pearl sputtered unconvincingly. “I’ve never heard such a ridiculous thing!” There was a beat as all of them eyed her impishly.

Skinny smiled knowingly. “You tried getting them to iron the suits didn’t you?”

“I HARDLY SEE HOW THAT’S RELEVANT!” Ms. Pearl burst out turning beet red.

“Yeah. Because you have no clue what _fun_ is,” she reiterated. A riot of laughter erupted from the group and Ms. Pearl’s face was now glowing crimson.

“ _Are you going to help or not_?!” Ms. Pearl demanded, fuming and fists balled at her sides.

“Alright, _alright_ , keep your top on.” Jay walked over and looked to the kids. “So, what’re your names, kiddies?” she asked them putting her hands on her hips.

“I’m Steven! And this is my friend Connie!” Steven piped up and gestured to his friend.

“Hello!” Connie greeted.

“Awwww, well ain’t that just precious?” Jay fawned. She turned to the toothy one and gave her a friendly smack on the shoulder. “Yo Sharky, you got this.”

“Heh!” Sharky cracked her neck dramatically before she crouched down to look at them eye-level.

"Alright, now listen closely, kiddies. This is an extremely important job,” She instructed them in a serious voice. “This copy machine here is broke and we need to test it. Think one of you can help us?”

Connie raised her hand.

“Sweet. Now...here’s what I’m going to need you to do. First, stand up here,” she said patting the top of the copy machine.

Connie tries to heft herself up onto the machine but found she couldn’t quite reach. Seeing her predicament, with a hearty chuckle Sharky picked up her from under the arms and places her atop the copier.

Connie looked about herself uncertainly. “Like this?”

“Yes, perfect!” Sharky encouraged. “Now then, I’m going to need you to make the silliest face you can,” She told her with a steadily widening grin on her face.

Connie stuck out her tongue a bit.

“Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. But you gotta try putting some more ‘pizazz’ into it," Sharky nodded and giving a little ‘jazz hands’ for emphasis.

She crossed her eyes and grinned widely.

“YEAAAHHH, there you go!” Sharky patted her on the back approvingly. “And now...put it right here.” she pointed at the copy screen.

Connie applied her face to the copy screen and the printer began to whine as it scanned and printed out copies of Connie’s ridiculous and delighted expression.

The gang let out a cheer as the printer sprung back to life. Sharky turned to Steven next “Alright cream puff, your turn!” She picked up Steven and sat him down next to Connie. They then spent the next several minutes watching Connie and Steven take turns copying their ridiculous faces, each one more hilarious than the last, and occasionally taking pictures with them.

“ _What is this_?!” A voice rang out.

“Oh crap, its the Fun Police!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be taking a break from this a while. Some other stories I wanted to get back to. But who knows when it comes to inspiration.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that took a while, got busy with my other stuff but finally done with this!

 “ _What is this_?!”  
  
“Oh crap, its the Fun Police!”

“Like clockwork...” Skinny groaned.  
  
“How does she _always_ know?” Jay wondered aloud.  
  
“I swear, she’s hiding surveillance equipment under those hair buns or something,” Sharky whispered, trying to hide under a table.

A very bossy-looking lady was approaching them, an imposing woman with hair buns on either side of her head. She stamped over to the group and pointed to the mess made of their cavorting.

“Who made this mess?” she demanded. “Someone clean this up immediately!”

“Yes, Ms. Holly Agatha…” the printer ladies assembled and collectively droned dismally.

“And someone go find Caren already, that toner was supposed to be here _six_ minutes ago. Get those documents copied and sorted already, I won’t have you slackers embarrassing us in Ms. Yellow Diamond’s tower! Now the rest of you get back to work until...until…” Her diatribe trailed off as she finally noticed the two small children sitting still atop the copy machine. “Who let these kids in?”

“Ummmmmmm…”

Sharky glanced over to a tall pile of papers, neatly stacked and sitting on the table, and with a quick smack knocks it over, scattering hundreds of pages into the air in a smokescreen of parchment. "SCATTER!!!!" she hollered, and everything erupted into chaos. In the confused melee the printer ladies scrambled to escape in the confusion and fled in every direction.

Ms. Agatha sputtered in outrage and tried to grab a hold of some of the fleeing workers while Ms. Pearl could only roll her eyes at the drama. That was until one of the printer ladies said to the kids “Run for the hills, kiddies!” as she ran past them.

Swept up in the excitement, and their young minds thinking that this was all some sort of game, the kids leapt off the copy machine and scampered off into the labyrinth of cubicles, giggling.

“Wait no, don’t run!” Ms. Pearl protested.  
  
But it was too late; she had already lost sight of the kids.

Inside the winding passages of the office spaces, the two quickly split up to throw their perceived pursuers off their trail. Steven found himself wandering around a different and unfamiliar section of the office floor. This place was like a maze in every sense of the word, with many twists and turns. He couldn’t possibly hope to see above the tall office walls, nor could he see any windows that could give him sense of where he was going. Some of them simply led to dead ends, while others led him into the cube-spaces of very confused-looking workers, who wondered why this small child was wandering around here.

He could hear the sounds of grownup fretting in the distance. It sounded like Ms. Pearl and the bossy lady were searching for him. Connie would have already found her hiding place by now, so Steven kept going, giggling to himself the whole way.

The young boy eventually found himself outside the forest of walls and desks in a clearing of sorts. There was a few directions he could go, one route led back to the elevators, another one led out into the rest of the building, and one had a doorway which curiously led to what seemed like a kitchen.  
  
Steven was perplexed by this discovery, he had thought kitchens only existed inside of houses, but he supposed even grownups had lunch time. Also, he didn’t want to venture too far from the scene, that’s not fair to the chasers of the game.

His attention was drawn away from the loud din of adults and telephones behind him and towards the breakroom. He peeked inside to see one lady, adorned in a brilliant blue suit reclining in a plastic chair with a mug in her hand. The whole outfit was captivating enough, but what _really_ drew Steven’s attention was the monocle she wore over her right eye, something which he only ever saw in cartoons.

“Hello there!”

The blue suited lady looked up from her mug and noticed the small boy beaming at her from below.

“Um...Hi?” She adjusted her monocle as she scrutinized him. “And who might you be?” she asked uncertainly.

“I’m Steven!”

“Well, um, Steven...what, pray tell, are you doing here?” Her voice had a posh tone to it that Steven thought sounded delightfully fancy and made him giggle.

“I’m here with my best friend, Connie!” Steven answered cheerily. “We’re waiting for Ms. Yellow to come back.”  
  
“You’re with _Ms. Diamond_?” she raised a eyebrow.

“Um...I guess?” the boy shrugged.

“Hm.” She peered through her monocle and looked him over. She took in all the details: still damp shoes, indicating he was recently outside for a relatively long period of time; sandwich-theme backpack, clearly a school accessory, implying he was expecting to be outdoors; a single missing tooth, her estimates putting him at elementary school age. Certainly very out of place in a office building like this.  
  
“Are your parents here?” she inquired. “Or a teacher perhaps?”  
  
“No,” the boy answered calmly. “Teacher will be at the museum.”

Elementary student. Traveling with companion. Was prepared for outdoor travel. Part of a class. Destination was a museum. Almost certainly on a field trip. Yet child is completely unaccompanied?

She was not especially familiar with the layout of this city, even if she has visited several times in the past, but she did recollect that on the way here she did spot several signs indicating that there was indeed a museum here, and based on their current location, estimated that it was still a fair distance away. She put her lawyer-mind at work, fitting all the pieces together to form a picture of the events that unfolded.

Children were traveling alone before being intercepted by Ms. Diamond. 

“Ahhhh...” She believed that she had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Her eye’s grip on her monocle tightened slightly. And _somebody_ was going to get the pants sued off of them before the week was out.

“I suppose once Ms. Diamond gets back she’ll be calling for someone to pick you up?” she mused.  
  
Steven mouth went agape. “Yeah! How did you know?” he asked in wonderment.  
  
“I’m a defense attorney, seeing the evidence presented and putting them all together is part of what I do.”

“You must figure things out for everyone here!”

“Oh, I don’t work _here_ , per say. I’m with of the Overseas Department’s Legal Team,” she revealed, taking a dignified sip of her coffee. “Whenever somebody tries to throw the book at us, that’s when they call me.”

“Why’s that?”  
  
“Because I’ve already read that book and know how to throw it back at them.”

“Wow, you must read a lot of books!” Steven marveled.  
  
“More books than years you’ll ever live, young man,” she agreed in a rather blasé way. She took another sip before putting the mug down. “But anyways, that’s my job.”

“Only when _I’m_ taking a sick day,” a voice rang out. Leaning in the breakroom doorway was another similarly dressed, but much more smug looking, lawyer. This one was clad in a greenish shaded suit with a yellow tie, and had blonde hair. “Belle here couldn’t defend her client from a scathing Yelp review.”  
  
“Oh, stuff it where the sun can’t shine because your head’s already stuck too far up it, Yevona!” The blue suited lawyer shot back over her shoulder.  
  
“Now, now, Belle. Don’t let that famous temper get the best of you,” The other lady smirked behind her palm.

“Eat my alibi, brown noser!”

“Oh. My. _Goodness_. Did you just _censor_ yourself?” The one called Yevona covered her mouth barely able to control her laughter.

“You want to get us sued for swearing in front of a minor? Be my guest,” Belle bit dryly, jerking a thumb at Steven who waved innocently.

“Fine then, two can play this game,” she boasted and put her hand down on the table challengingly. “I’ve seen better defenses than yours from a junior varsity football team. The only thing I object to is your pitiful stalling tactics that you’re so famous for.”

“My junior varsity defense has kicked your prosecution right in the testimony plenty of times before!” Belle retaliated, shaking her fist at the other attorney. “Remember the _Calvin v. Boregard_ case or did you already omit that from your track record? The only thing _I_ object to is your baseless smear tactics.”

“Object my affidavit, I had your client dead to rights! My evidence proved that the accused was the only one who could have had access to that lawn mower!” Yevona retorted, leaning over and jabbing a finger against the table.

“You pulled that evidence out your loophole and those findings couldn’t hold up under cross-examination!” Belle said, standing up now.

“Cross-exam my verdict!” The two were now up in each other’s face, practically pushing noses.

“Any longer on the podium and you’d be cross-examining the _Judge’s_ verdict!”  
  
“ _What_?!”

One of the blue-tied office workers passed by the breakroom door before backtracking and poking her head in after noticing the squabbling lawyers and kid. This one stockily built with rusty red hair and cart full of printer toner. She watched the drama unfolding and with a cross look on her face hollered at them. “Hey! Watch the language, there are kids around ya know!” 

Both lawyers looked back at Steven who had been watching the two bicker with a look of complete enpuzzlement and confusion on his face. Fortunately, they didn’t cover legal lingo and various related innuendos in elementary school.

The red-headed lady patted that cart beside her and asked it a question. “Yo short-stuff, this the friend you were talking about?”

A small head popped out underneath the pile of toner cartridge. It was Connie! She waved to Steven. Caren lifted her out and set her down. The two kids run towards each other and hug.

“Hi Connie! Did they find you yet?”  
  
“Nope, Ms. Caren let me hide in her cart. No one suspected a thing!” she snickered.

“Oh yeah, giggling toner carts are a dime a dozen around here. No one batted an eyelash.” Caren grinned and the kids laughed.

“So, what exactly are we going to do with these two?” Belle asked the other attorney, adjusting her monocle.

“THERE you two are!” Ms. Pearl’s voice rang out. She was standing not far away, huffing and panting with both hands on her knees again.

“Ah, well that answers that question,” Yevona answered dryly.

She had been running all over the place looking for them, following the sound of distant giggles and confused employees left in their wake to find them. Her attention had finally been drawn by the sound of bickering, and she had found the kids standing in the breakroom. “No more running off you two! From now on your sticking right next to me, got it? I’ve already met my quota for heart attacks today, thank you very much!”

“Oh _relax_ , sourpuss. The kids were fine!” Caren waved a hand dismissively. “I had my eye on the girl and these two were watching the boy the _whole time_. Right guys?” She smirked at the lawyers who nodded awkwardly.

“Just as well, if Ms. Diamond came back and found them missing she’d burst into flames. So let’s go already before something else happens.” She motioned the children to follow her.

“Wait, before you go, take this.” Belle handed Steven something. It was a small card with her name and various contact information on it. “I have a feeling your parents might be interested in a little legal consultation after you get back. Give that to them if they need to, _ahem_ , receive some compensation from your school for your troubles.” She gave him a wink.

“Okay!” he smiled and put the card securely in his cheeseburger backpack.  
  
“Alright, come on you two!” The deceptively slender secretary picked up both Steven and Connie under her arms and began to carry them back over to the entrance of Yellow Diamond’s office.

“Awwww. Is the game over already?” the kids lamented.

She sighed in relief. “Yes, game time is over. Now let’s see if we can keep you out of any more trouble before Ms. Diamond gets back, shall we?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time, Ms. Yellow returns!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years everybody! Starting off 2019 with a new chapter. Sorry for the delay, was busy with work, school, and other stories. I wanted to also release the next chapter of No Home at the same time, but it should be ready in a week or two. Also, in regards to the recent episodes, keep in mind that this was made way before any of that and is a light-hearted AU. Otherwise, hope you enjoy!

Ms. Yellow finally stepped out of the conference room and shut the door behind her. Not stopping, she march straight to the nearest elevator and let it close. Once she was sure she was alone, and that no one was watching, she finally let her shoulders down and let out a sigh of relief.

Damn jackals, she thought. Try and make a power move in _her_ tower will they? Not a chance. She pressed the button for her office floor. Well, she certainly showed them, and after _that_ , hopefully next time they’ll know better than to cross her.

The elevators hummed quietly as she waited in silence, arms folded, to arrive. Finally she felt the elevator stop and the doors opened with a ding.

Now then, time to call the police and finally get those kids out of her-

Where were they?

They were not by the elevators where she left them. They were not here. They were gone. Why were they gone? _Where were they_?!

Yellow’s mind raced. Where could they be?

Wait, she left them with Pearl. Where was Pearl?

Ms. Yellow stalked out of the elevator with a rushed pace. Looking around, she could see a colossal mess by the printing machines, with the employees from Blue’s department picking up the pieces of what seemed to have been a catastrophic parchment explosion.

What on Earth happened around here? She hadn’t even been gone an hour!

Yellow’s thoughts turned to dreadful visions of legal action and the scandals that could follow if something were to have happened. Her company had enough bad rumors circulating about it as it was. She didn’t need child neglect added to the list. That would be a PR nightmare. They could be sued! Or worse!

The worst part about it was that, this was on _her_. She brought them in because she it would be safer- _less risky_ to bring them in and resolve this quickly than to just let them wander around on the streets. Now she had no idea where they were and no control over the situation.

She turned her head and finally spotted her secretary. She was heading back towards the office, with the both kids secured firmly under each arm. Letting out a grunt of irritation, Yellow marched over to them in a huff.

“Oh Ms. Diamond, there you are! How did the meeting g-”

“ _Pearl!_ ”  
  
“IDIDN’TLOSETHEMISWEAR!”  
  
“How many people know about them?”  
  
“Wait wha…?”

“How many people in the office know they’re here?”

“ _Weeeell_...” she glanced uncomfortably at the wider floor.

“Oh lord, they all know don’t they?”

“I’m afraid so...” Meanwhile the children looked up and waved.

Ms. Yellow put a hand to her face and groaned.

“B-BUT, there’s absolutely no reason for anyone to connect them to you! Because of course, I would never divulge any of your personal affairs,” Ms. Pearl professed as she set the two back down.

“Good.” Yellow let out a covert sigh of relief. She did not need anyone in the office thinking she had gone soft. This whole situation was ridiculous enough as it is. “Stay here and prepare everything for the merger, I’ll take it from here.” She then snapped her gaze back down to the two wandersome children.

“You two, come with me!” 

The two snapped a hasty nod and followed the tall CEO into the office and the door slammed shut behind them.

Inside it was a well-lit and very modern cubic space. Everything was perfect ordered and designed to radiate the utmost efficiency and authority. Warm yellow lamps hung from the ceiling and the books were arranged on their shelves in perfect straight rows. Her desk was on the other end of the room, meticulously clean almost to the point of barreness, while the guest seats were mathematically positioned in front of it to offer the ideal power distance.

“Wow! Is all this really yours?” Steven asked.

Yellow didn’t bother answering. She didn’t have time to answer obvious questions. She had to get back to work and finish all this so she can finally send these blasted kids home already! Here at least no one will bother her.

It wasn't long before the boy spoke again. “So do you call people from here or...”

“Listen up, I have piles of work to do, and a limited window of time to do them. The sooner I get them done, the sooner you can be out of here!” she told them. “So keep quiet and don’t bother me anymore!” 

Suddenly there was a long rumbling gurgle as their stomachs growled. The two looked up from their stomachs at her but didn’t say anything.

Yellow felt an eye twitch.

Two juice boxes and a box of raisins from the breakroom later, they were seated in one of the guest chairs, both of them in the same one.

Yellow finally settled down into her seat. At long last, she could get back to work. She began to pour through the torrents of emails, memos, and notices that flooded her screen, answering, filing, deleting, and organizing them all with industrious efficiency.

Once she returned a few phone calls, she can send them home. So one by one she listened, responded, gave orders, gave ultimatums, and deleted them. Sometimes she berated. Sometimes she veiledly threatened. Other times she offered assurances. Whatever was needed to keep the wheels turning.

She glanced at the clock. Still plenty of time left before the big meeting. She thought about calling the authorities now, but noticed her email notifications blinking again.

Alright, she had time, maybe she’ll check just a couple of more emails. She clicked through her inbox and saw how many of them there were already. Okay, maybe she’ll just quickly respond to a _few_ of these and then-

The phone started ringing.

Okay, fine, she’ll just quickly deal with this and...

One thing after another. Five, ten, twenty, it just never seemed to end. Just one more thing, she kept telling herself. But it never was. It would all go by so much faster if the phone didn’t keep ringing, every second someone else demanding her attention.

The CEO pinched the bridge of her nose. No rest for the wicked, she thought to herself and her grumbling intensified.

Steven took notice of this and went up to Ms. Yellow’s desk. He placed something by her side. She looked down and saw that it was a juice box. She pretended not to notice, and Steven, thinking that she didn’t see it, pushed it a bit closer to her.

“Are you thirsty? You can have mine!”

“I don’t have time for such things,” She waved her hand at him dismissively.

Steven gasped in abject horror. “You don’t have time for yourself? But you-time is super important!”

“I have a multinational conglomerate and thousands employees to take care of first.”

“Mom says that working hard is good, but you shouldn’t work too hard. If you do that then you’ll get so tired your arms will fall off!”

“Oh really...” Ms. Yellow murmured absently.

Connie poked her head over the desk and chimed in. “My mom’s a doctor, and she says you should always stay hydrated. Steven’s mom’s also been talking her about making time to relax. Maybe you should talk to them?”

Oh she did _not_ need this.

She didn’t go through eight years of university to be lectured by two kids who thought a box of cereal was a legitimate means of navigation. If she didn’t find some way to keep these kids occupied soon she was going to go insane.

“Alright you two, if your going to lounge around in my office, then your going to at least make yourselves useful.” She pointed to Connie. “You, Connie was it? I’m putting you in charge of the answering machine.“

Connie came around side and tried to access the answering machine, but found she couldn’t reach. Determined, and with Ms. Yellow waiting on her, Connie looked around and figured something out. She pulled out a few of Ms. Yellow’s drawers to form a staircase. The executive watched this clever little problem-solving with mild amusement before deciding to make this easier on herself and her desk. She picked up the girl from under her arms and sat her down on her desk.

The CEO pointed to the answering machine. “Every time the phone rings, push _this_ button right here. Got that?”

“The one that says ‘Ignore’?”  
  
“Correct.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Right on cue, the phone began to ring, and as instructed, Connie pressed the button with her finger and the ringing stopped.

“Very good, keep doing that.”

Next, she pulled out a stack of papers from her desk drawer, tapping them against her desk before handing them to Steven. “And you, take these papers and go shred them.”

The boy gave a salute. “Yes ma’am, ms. boss lady!” before taking the papers and running off with them.

There, that should keep them occupied for a while, Ms. Yellow thought. Though she might have to consult Yevona later on about whether this constitutes as child labour or not...

Finally free of the endless parade of nagging phone calls, Ms. Yellow was finally able to focus herself back on clearing her emails. Without the constant distractions she was actually able to make some headway. In a way, she was almost able to relax. She was in her element, productive and undistracted, with the periodic phonecall swiftly silenced by Connie, and the boy taking care of the pesky paperwork. She just felt like she had less to worry about.

After a while though, she noticed that she hadn’t actually _heard_ the sound of paper shredding yet…

She looked up as Steven returned to her desk. To her confusion, he laid out several papery objects on her desk. After a moment, she realized these had once been the papers she gave him. He had turned them into an assortment of paper chains and angels.

“All done!” he saluted.

Yellow looked at him for a moment. “I suppose I didn’t actually say to use the paper shredder…” She hadn’t intended for her tax returns to be turned into arts and crafts, but at this point, she was much too tired to object. At least they were shredded.

The intercom buzzed and she smacked the receiver with a hand.  
  
“What is it?” she demanded impatiently. Couldn’t anyone leave her alone for a few minutes?

It was Ms. Pearl. “Ms. Diamond? It’s almost time for your big afternoon meeting. Shall we get going?”

Yellow looked back up at the clock. She hadn’t realized how much time had past! It was already almost time for the big merger. Yellow cursed herself for getting so distracted. She had wasted too much time and now there wasn’t enough time to call the police!

She put her face in her hands as she groaned.

Ms. Yellow got up and headed for the door. She was about to open it when something occurred to her. Wait, how would it look if she walked around the whole building with two kids trailing her? She would look ridiculous! But she couldn’t leave them with Ms. Pearl again, this time she actually needed her secretary with her. She looked back at the kids who were watching her. Leaving them with another employee was out of the question, she couldn’t risk something happening again while she was gone. To her dismay, she realized that would have to take the kids _with_ her. Yellow groaned again.

She’d have to find a way to keep this all under wraps...

The kids watched as Ms. Yellow took out her wallet and opened it.

"If anyone asks, you’re my interns. Then, give them this and ask them if they understand,” she told them as she pressed something papery into each of their hands and Steven and Connie looked down at it. In each of their hands was a hundred-dollar bill.

They looked up at her in confusion.

“They'll know what it means."

With that, she swung the door open and marched out, Steven and Connie in tow. Her secretary didn’t miss a beat and quickly fell in line beside her. On the way they passed the cubicles and the printer ladies again, who were still cleaning up the mess from before. Yellow had hoped to slip out unseen without much fuss. They seemed rather ensconced in their work, so perhaps they would be able to slip out unseen without much fuss.

“HEY, HEY LATER KIDDIES!”

Today was just not Yellow’s day...

A big one with a noticeable curl in her hair shouted, waving her arms wildly at them trying to get their attention. Yellow flinched and tried to pick up the pace. The other employees around her also took notice of who she was waving at and followed suit. The kids did _not_ help matters.

The two turned and waved to the rest of the floor. “BYE EVERYBODY!” They shouted back, matching their volume. The printer ladies were hollering and waving, behind them some of the other nameless workers in the cubicles also waved a little. Even the two lawyers standing in the breakroom doorway bid a gesture of farewell.

Ms. Yellow grumbled something unintelligible to herself and hurried them all out.

 

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued!


End file.
